I am certain that at some point during your motherhood journey you have asked yourself, “do I have the qualities of a good mother?”
It is a normal part of the process to question your own motherhood qualities, to compare yourself with other moms, to question your abilities, and even to feel guilty at times.
Does that sound familiar?
I can tell you by experience that I have felt all types of ways during my motherhood journey. Often times I think I am the most fantastic mom on the planet, and other times I feel like I am a total failure.
There are a lot of expectations that come along with motherhood. After all, we are raising tiny humans.
No, pressure, right?
There is no job like the job of a mother. There is no responsibility alike.
So, how exactly do we tackle that responsibility, and what qualities can help us become the best mom we can be? Well…
So, what makes a good mother?
So, what exactly makes a good mother?
Well, one that always looks put together, that cooks gourmet organic dishes, that always speaks with a soft voice, and that keeps her home shiny, tidy, and smelling fabulous… all… the… time!
Not so much! Unrealistic expectations of what makes a good mother only feed into the ridiculous idea that we somehow, are a flawless machine!
When in fact, the reality is that somedays, all we want to do is use the toilet without a naked toddler singing the ABCs, standing on a stepstool in front of the sink. Is that too much to ask?
So, it all comes down to the basics and common sense. It is finding a healthy balance of motherhood attributes that we either naturally possess, acquire along the way, and are constantly working to improve on a daily basis.
As you read through these “qualities of a good mother”, the goal isn’t to achieve perfection. Or to feel guilty about not excelling at a particular quality.
Instead, the goal is to create awareness of these characteristics of motherhood that we should be working on. Remember, motherhood isn’t a destination, it is a journey. And every day we are given a fresh start, to try again.
So, if you have been wondering what are the characteristics of a good mother and what we can work to improve on, here are 1o Important Qualities of a Good Mother…
10 Qualities of a Good Mother
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Out of all the qualities of a good mother, I believe being a loving mom is number one!
With love, all of the other characteristics can be worked on and improved on.
Love is the one ingredient that is critical. Loving our children doesn’t mean we live in a love bubble all the time, skipping in a field of flowers and butterflies.
Love is in the little moments of our everyday. Love in the sacrifices, love is in the messes, love in the ordinary.
Love bears all and conquers all. Love is the reason we strive every day to provide for our children because we love them.
Although mothers show their love for their children in different ways all over the world, some acts of love towards our children are universal. Things such as a hug, a kiss, encouraging words, and practicing present parenting are all simple examples of how to be a loving mother.
Part of being a good mom involves being patient and calm.
This motherhood quality is a BIG one and one that I feel is a constant work in progress—at least for me.
There is so much going on all the time, that being patient with our children is something we aren’t always ready and willing to be.
Simple examples of being a patient mother may include:
- Letting our children express their thoughts without interrupting them.
- Not losing our temper so easily.
- Allowing them to finish chores and activities at their pace.
In essence, learning to take a deep breath, cool down, and come back to the situation at hand will help us work on this important “good motherhood quality.”
3. Role Model
One of the best qualities of a good mother is one that teaches by example.
Being a good role model for our children is the best lesson we can ever teach. The “do as I say, not as I do” approach isn’t effective.
Our children will learn much more from what they see us do rather than from what we tell them to do.
So, every day, we should make a bigger effort to model behaviors and attitudes that we want our children to adopt.
Simple actions such as eating healthy, being kind to others, and exercising are all examples of things kids learn by watching us do.
Consistency isn’t only a good motherhood quality but a necessary one to raise emotionally stable children.
Studies have shown consistency in parenting behaviors has important implications for a kid’s adjustment. From a social learning perspective, predictable responses to our children’s behavior may best promote learning, as kids are given consistent expectations about their environment. Additionally, according to attachment theory, youth may form secure attachments to their parents when parental behavior is consistently responsive to their needs.
To put things into perspective, imagine that your boss was completely unpredictable. One day he was nice, the other day he was an ogre. How would that impact your own behavior around him? Wouldn’t that make you act a bit more guarded when he was around?
The same happens with our children, but on a larger scale. That is because we are supposed to be their constant and when we aren’t that can create all sorts of emotional and psychological chaos.
In essence, when we are consistent in the way we interact with our children, discipline them, and set expectations, the more stable they grow up to become.
Consistency creates expectancy which reduces stress, anxiety, and emotional swings.
Okay, let’s face it. Some days are just all over the place. Despite how much we plan for things to go a certain way.
With that said, it isn’t a secret that being organized and having a plan helps us function better.
Kids, work, cooking, cleaning, errands, pets, bills, appointments, home maintenance projects, kid’s sports, fitness… I mean! I’m amazed that we find time to shower these days.
Having a game plan will help us put a routine in place and create a schedule. In turn, allowing us to give our children stability, consistency, and predictability—all of which help reduce anxiety and irritability.
If you need help in this area, (and who doesn’t?), I highly recommend you check out the Printable Home Management Binder!
This little gem will help you manage and keep track of every single aspect of motherhood and your home life on a day to day basis, including:
- Planner and Calendars
- Personal Goals
- All Things Kids
- Medical Record
- Health and Fitness
- Cleaning and Organizing
- Household Projects
- Birthdays and Holidays
- … and Extras!
When talking about the qualities of a good mother, being respectful is a very important one.
Because we are their mothers and we, well… “gave birth to them” doesn’t give us the right to overstep some boundaries.
It is important to remember that our children are their own person, with their own personalities, their own opinions, and their own limitations.
This is especially important to remember as our kids start to grow and develop their own independence—a.k.a, teenage years.
It is our nature as moms to want to do what is best for them, even if it sometimes means stepping over some boundaries.
Being a respectful mother can mean many things, but here are a few examples that can put this attribute of motherhood into perspective:
- Never yell in your child’s face.
- Treating them (and others) with respect.
- Don’t call them names or use derogatory terms towards them.
- Don’t talk down to your kids.
- Allow them to have a say, whenever possible.
- Allow them to express their feelings.
- When reprimanding younger children kneel down to their level and make eye contact.
You get the point. Treat your child with the same respect you expect in return.
7. Supportive and Encouraging
Another important quality of a good mother is being supportive!
I am certain you can look back at your childhood and remember times when your parents were encouraging and supportive. I know I do!
Encouragement is something we all need! It creates a sense of pride and makes us push forward and work harder.
Children in particular need to hear from their parents that we support them. That we stand behind them and will stand by them every step of the way. Behind every supportive mother stands a confident child—make no mistake about it!
This is a tough quality for anyone to master. It takes practice, patience, and humbleness.
When it comes to our children, forgiveness is something that is crucial to help our children thrive.
Because our children are constantly learning and mistakes are bound to happen, opting to be forgiving and flexible is key. Perfecting this quality is one of the most valuable things we should hope to obtain—not only as a mother but as a person.
Being quick to anger, holding a grudge, and being slow to forgive are poisonous not only to ourselves but to our children.
By being a forgiving mother we are also modeling such behavior, thus indirectly instilling it in our children and leading by example.
Another point to make here is that as mothers, we are constantly telling our children to ask for forgiveness when they do something wrong. However, we must also remember that this also applies to us as well.
Forgiving ourselves is just as important, as we are by far perfect!
When we forgive (our children, or others) we free ourselves and other people.
Get rid of all bitterness, rage, and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. Ephesians 4:31-32
9. Acknowledges Flaws
Acknowledging your own flags is one of the most important qualities of a good mother.
You see… being a good mother does mean you are perfect. And it is important that our children understand that.
When we acknowledge our own flaws and choose to work on them we teach our kids that perfection is unattainable. Instead, what we should focus on, is to work on being the best version of ourselves.
If one thing we know about motherhood is that every day is different! And because of that, being flexible is key to keep our sanity.
As a checklist lover and to-do list enthusiast freak of nature, I can tell you that flexibility has been a work in progress for me. I function best with structure and a plan, and God knows that motherhood can be anything but structured or predictable.
It isn’t always about how we think things should be done and how we think things should go. We should always leave room for discussions, change of plans, and allowing our kids to also make decisions.
Flexibility gives us the ability to handle things as they come when they come—and that, helps us stay sane!
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So, do you possess all of the qualities of a good mother?
Probably not… and that is totally fine.
All we can do is aspire to do better and to be better.
One day at a time, one victory and one mistake at a time. Leaving room for forgiving ourselves when things don’t go as planned, and giving ourselves credit when we accomplish something great.
After is all set and done, loving our children and trying to be the best version of ourselves are the best motherhood qualities we could ever possess.
The rest will find its way.
What do you think we should add to this “qualities of a good mother” list?
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